According to the World Health Organization, adolescence is between 10 and 19 years of age. It is a time of transition between childhood and adulthood, marked by physical, emotional, social, sexual, and mental development.
It is an intense phase, in which the personality of the individual is also in the process of consolidation and when many conflicts with authority figures tend to occur.
The behavior of teenagers
Adolescence is still a phase of much self-knowledge, in which opinions and tastes are refined. Therefore, young people focus a lot on themselves, in an attempt to discover themselves as an individual. In this sense, it is common to distance oneself from the interests of childhood and begin to question authorities, such as parents and teachers.
Physically, it is during this period that certain hormones begin to play a more important role in body balance. In the brain, there is an increase in dopamine levels, which is guided by pleasure and reward. This neurotransmitter is thought to motivate teenagers to look for intense sensations and emotions.
Here are some tips for dealing with these young people and developing a good relationship with them:
Take time
Your time is the best possible gift to give the teenager you want to have a healthy relationship with. It's not about quantity, it's about quality: your child should know that time spent together is important to you, not an obligation.
So, have moments of conversation without other distractions and set aside time in your schedule to have lunch or dinner together, for example. Make sure he knows he's your priority. Although it often doesn't seem like it, teenagers do need the support and dedication of their parents.
Even in the case of separated parents, it is possible to maintain daily contact via social networks and organize face-to-face meetings whenever possible. Parents and children should be part of each other's lives.
Keep in touch with school and friends
The school is a great ally of the family, which must keep parents informed about the adolescent's behavior, school performance, and any problems that arise. Being in contact with the school means participating in his life.
In addition, it is also important to know the friends of the teenager in question. In adolescence, many behaviors come from living in a group. Therefore, knowing your child's company can make all the difference in understanding behaviors. So offer rides, have friends over, and show interest in his social life.
Listen and support
In general, most teenagers do not like to receive lengthy advice and warnings. So, more important than talking, is listening. Transform your speeches into questioning, making the teenager reflect and pay attention to his opinion. Showing interest in what he has to say will make him more interested in your opinion as well. Remember that dialogue is a two-way street.
Listening also means giving support in difficult times and empathizing. The teenager needs to know that he will have your support no matter the circumstances.
Set clear boundaries and rules
There are two very common and catastrophic mistakes when it comes to teenagers: not authorizing anything and authorizing everything. The very rigid limits generate revolt and disobedience. The lack of limits leads to inconsistency and lack of responsibility, among other problems.
Thus, it is important to have clear rules, setting reasonable limits. This goes for housekeeping, schedules, school performance, and behavior at parties, for example. The ideal is not to negotiate, but to be flexible when the parents deem it fair. An important aspect is only to create rules that really have a reason to exist, and when necessary explain that reason to the young person.
Have a good time!
It's true that teenagers are intense and often unpredictable, but they can also be fun and lively! Dealing with them in a good mood and finding topics of mutual interest is more than a strategy for having a good relationship, it's a way to find happiness together.
That way, get closer, know what your child likes and have light subjects to talk about. Watch movies, combine lunch with each other's favorite food, cook together, play football, dance, and have hobbies! The closeness generates trust and forms bonds that last a lifetime.
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