partners in a happy relationship know how to accept responsibility for their own part of the problem. They actively looking for their part, asking questions such as:
• “Is there any validity to my partner’s view?”
• “What can I do to make this better in the future?”
Both partners must understand that both our viewpoints are valid and important, even if they disagree.
Successful couples value their partner’s feelings and experience. They say things like: “What you are saying is starting to make sense; tell me more.”
You will find that these kinds of words will quickly soften the feelings of both you and your partner, and allows both partners to step away from Defensiveness. Such words show your partner that you cherish him or her above your own need to be “right.”
• “Is there any validity to my partner’s view?”
• “What can I do to make this better in the future?”
Both partners must understand that both our viewpoints are valid and important, even if they disagree.
Successful couples value their partner’s feelings and experience. They say things like: “What you are saying is starting to make sense; tell me more.”
You will find that these kinds of words will quickly soften the feelings of both you and your partner, and allows both partners to step away from Defensiveness. Such words show your partner that you cherish him or her above your own need to be “right.”
