taking responsibility means being willing to witness the pain you’ve caused. You may have to listen to your partner’s pain, anger, indignation, or point of view before you can offer up an apology that seems sincere. At times, this witnessing may need to be repeated over time, with patience, as the wound heals. Never tell your partner that his or her perspective is wrong and “could not possibly be true” because it contradicts your own point of view. This discredits your apology. In fact, the process of validating each other’s feelings and experiences – even simply nodding your head in agreement –affects your relationship in an incredibly positive way. Remember, each person’s perspective is their truth.
