The Damaging Behavior of Narcissistic and Psychopathic Individuals
Living close to people with personality disorders can lead to the fact that we experience psychological poisoning. It can lead to a condition where we no longer tolerate ourselves or know who we are. We lose ourselves. Imagine a work situation where you find yourself strongly affected by a colleague. If we lose all of our self-confidence in that situation, we might collapse completely. When we come across something like this by a parent, it causes serious and permanent damage to a person. Just as flour is kneaded into dough, poison is kneaded into the victim. To collect all the flour (the poison) and throw it away is a task that gets too overwhelming for many people. Even people who manage to detox themselves have a hard time getting rid of all the poison.
So, what can you do to protect yourself and your children from such damage?
# 1: Make Yourself Aware
When it comes to personality disorders, people often understand too late that they should have sought some necessary information about it. Not until after encountering the phenomenon do they understand what had happened. One to three per cent of all people around the world are expected to suffer from psychopathy, and an even larger number are expected to suffer from narcissism. Do the maths regarding your home country and come up with relevant statistics. With a constant rise in the number of cases of personality disorders, it is very likely that all of us will encounter one or the other at some point in our lives.
# 2: Understanding the Phenomenon
Unlike psychopathic individuals, people with a narcissistic personality disorder do have feelings that we, in a way, can understand. At least in the sense that we usually talk about emotions.
Narcissistic people often have been deprived of their childhood and therefore become unable to use emotions in a way that pleases people around them and themselves too. Shame is believed to be the biggest threat to a narcissistic person. The one who temporarily happens to burst the bubble of perfection for a narcissistic person would most likely become a victim of his or her anger. This sometimes ends with them being lonely and bitter.
The psychopathic person, in contrast to a narcissist, lacks an inner emotional life in the sense that we usually talk about emotions. They have no burning shame, which must be silenced. A psychopathic person is often said to be a copy of a real human being. A psychopathic person does not react to his feelings like narcissists do, as they rather seem to be “off.” The underlying motive for a psychopathic person´s behaviour is his or her own agenda. These people do things because they feel like it or because it fits into their plan. Psychopathic people are a group that we have learned to hate for hurting others. There is nothing strange about that. However, we cannot ignore the need to study these disorders to be able to prevent them in the future.
# 3: Trust Your Knowledge
When things in your life get seriously wrong or rather strange involving a specific person with a personality disorder, it is very important to have knowledge. Only knowledge would help you to deal with them. These people are experts in getting what they want, and it will be you sacrificing everything for them if you lack knowledge or understanding of their behaviour. Both a narcissistic person and a psychopathic person starves people around them for putting efforts in a relationship, so when they suddenly make an effort, you believe that everything is fine and that you have been wrong about them all this time. The truth is that they do the bare minimum for others and get maximum benefits in return. They would fool you to trust in them and invest in them, over and over again. In addition, especially psychopathic individuals, know you get anxious easily and they will try to get under your skin by taking advantage of it. They will put ideas and thoughts into your head. If you suspect this is what´s going on – trust your guts and use your knowledge.
# 4: Act
With awareness and knowledge, you will be able to act, and also choose the fellow human beings you want to be present throughout your life.
“My mother wasn´t able to act. She had no idea what was wrong with dad, because she suffered a total lack of explanations and knowledge about personality disorders. She dedicated her life to a narcissistic man, a man who was destroyed since childhood. With knowledge, you don´t have to make the same mistake she did, whether you are a man or a woman”.
Eva Traff
If you feel like you are in trouble of this kind, Eva Traff explains the signs and manipulative ways of narcissistic and psychopathic individuals in her book, “Narcissism and Psychopathy.”
Growing up with a narcissistic father helped her identify and learn about the ways these people work. The book is available for purchase on Amazon.
