How Does Our Childhood Effect Us?
You as an adult may not remember what series of events took place in your childhood, but there is one thing for sure they definitely did shape you into what you are today. Childhood is a delicate process and can be the reason one turns out to be a successful businessman or a successful serial killer. The minute incidents of happiness and the major ones of loss all leave a mark.
It is common for psychologists to study one’s childhood to determine why they may turn out the way they did. In the years of research and a multitude of surveys later, there has been a prominent link between the adult lives of individuals and their childhood.
It is common for parents to have certain expectations from their children. Some want to see them succeed and become doctors, while others simply want them to survive school. The support a child gets from their parents helps them find what they truly want in life or breaks them down to the point of becoming an insecure human who seeks validation from other people and is easily manipulated.
A child who is seen as a star child and has the support of his parents throughout life will recognize his potential in the real world even if he does not achieve the best academic results. The child will continue to be secure in themselves and will find that there are other things they can pursue besides the mainstream educational titles. Children like these are also much more confident in themselves and can easily fit in with a new crowd. They have a more extroverted personality and are easy to talk to.
A child who has not had the most support from their parents and is constantly made to feel like they aren’t enough is bound to have a few insecurity issues. An inferiority complex embeds itself in them. This will either make them a timid human being who avoids talking to others and is introverted or may force them to hide these insecurities by projecting them onto others by bullying them.
The order in which siblings are born also affects the personalities of young adults. Older siblings are known to be the second parents to their younger siblings. They take up more responsibilities and are known to work harder for their achievements. Some adults who grew up to be only children are known to be distant individuals who see the world as an unsafe space and may find their social skills lacking.
Some researchers have also stated that only children also grow up to be self-independent humans who avoid making unnecessary attachments since they did get the appropriate attention when they were younger.
In sibling trios, the middle child is known to be attention deprived and can have multiple issues with connecting to their family. However, they are known to be people-pleasers and can have a developed sense of empathy. These may be the rebels in the trios and can be very closely attached to their siblings. They are social and can easily adjust themselves to different situations. They may be the least studied individuals, and there are not a lot of major studies which represent what and why middle siblings turn out to be the way they do.
People born into bigger family sets with a larger group of siblings are known to create different types of personalities which they have adapted according to their own situations. Every child is not given an ample amount of individual attention, and they either learn to live with it or develop attention-seeking traits. Some may also learn to adhere to stray away from the expected behaviors to satisfy their individualism.
There is a very noticeable difference between people raised in an economically stable household and those with certain financial strains. A child who has grown up in a privileged hosuehold may not realize for a very long time that money, in fact, does not grow on trees and needs to be worked for. Such children may also not learn that the world outside their accommodation is tough and could easily chew them up and throw them out after the smallest mistake.
The security that financial safety provides children with may be helpful. However, spoiling the child will lead to harmful results.
Whereas a child who has grown up in a household where their source of income was shaky, and they saw their parents work hard and long hours to provide for them may cause them to appreciate the small things in life. The trauma that comes with not knowing when their second meal would be causes children to grow up and emotionally mature at a very young age.
Such children work towards a much more independent lifestyle and want to do better for themselves and their loved ones.
Some children are known to simply develop at a very young age, both physically and mentally. They realize the world surrounding them, and they become eager to indulge themselves in the complexities of this world. However, a child is, alas, a child and will not have the cognations which an adult will until and unless they reach a certain age of maturity. These children need someone to talk to, to help them figure out what they feel is true or if it is simply a weird phase.
Recently a book named “Memoir Of A Precocious Child” gained attention. This book talks about how a 12 year old explains the sexual urges they went through in the first 7 years of their life. The manuscript’s author seems to be a well-adjusted human but certainly needed help from a guiding force to figure out his actions and how he could become an acceptable member of society.
Ultimately, our childhood is a guiding force that helps us become the adults we are today. However, an adult could always learn and unlearn new cognations to fit the environment they are presented with. Therapy could also help alter a person’s personality and flaws.