Let's be honest. It is possible that forgiving someone who has wronged us will be the most difficult thing we'll ever have to do. It's possible that we've been wronged severely, but more often than not, it's the little things that bother us on a daily basis or the words that were spoken inadvertently that really get to us. After someone has hurt us, insulted us, or broken our trust, we may suffer for days or even years with feelings of rage, perplexity, grief, and bitterness. These emotions may last a lifetime.
1. Accepting Apologies Does Not Mean Endorsing the Offense
Simply because you forgive someone, it does not mean that the harm no longer matters or is forgotten. It implies that the previous hurt is transformed into something instructive rather than something invasive.
Refusing to engage in the process of forgiving others maintains our connection to both the person who wronged us and the transgression. The wounds are still open, and the pain has returned.
It is a common misconception that if we forgive someone, we are giving them permission to continue causing us damage. However, this is not the case. We have the ability to choose how to place boundaries against damage, and we should do so.
2. Trust Is Not the Same Thing as Forgiveness
Although forgiveness does require trust, it is not the same thing as trusting an offender. Who we put our faith in may have a significant impact on our capacity to forgive in a manner that is healthy. Will we put our faith in the one who committed the crime, in ourselves, or in God?
3. Forgiveness Is Not Forgetting
The idea that one can "forgive and forget" anything is simplistic and ignores the transformative potential that might result from the act of forgiving another person. There is a difference between forgetting and being able to forgive. They are often related, but in ways that are not helpful and even manipulative, which may actually make it more difficult to recover from the wounds.
The acts we've taken in the past and the patterns we're now seeing make us aware of the things we need to pay attention to. We gain knowledge about ourselves and about others by reflecting on the events of the past, which enables us to react in more constructive ways in the future.
4. The act of forgiving someone else is a never-ending process
It is not necessary for forgiveness to be a great gesture performed all at once. It often occurs in a series of phases.
Forgiveness may be a simple and speedy process at times, particularly when the transgression in question does not touch upon any underlying hurts or dysfunctional belief systems. However, the majority of the time it calls for repeated acts of submission.
5. Reconciliation Is Not the Same Thing as Forgiveness
The ability to forgive opens the door to mended fences in relationships, but it does not ensure that they will be mended. The two are often anticipated to take place simultaneously, despite the fact that this expectation might be harmful.
To begin the process of forgiveness, all it takes is one person. Even while it makes for a far more fulfilling experience if the other person is willing to acknowledge their wrongdoing, it is still possible to find healing via forgiving others even if they refuse to do so.
6. Forgiveness Is an Open Door
It requires bravery to make the decision to let something go and to entrust both the result and the repercussions to God. It is a courageous move toward a future that is free from the traumas of the past.
When we forgive, we experience healing on a spiritual level that ripples through all aspects of our being, from our emotions to our bodies. We have the opportunity to lead better lives, which has a direct bearing on our capacity to form relationships with other people. Not only are healthier interactions possible, but they also become more likely.
