Swinging, as a sexual practice, has gained huge public awareness after the so called “sexual revolution” of the ‘60s. With the progresses made regarding contraceptive measures and the treatments for STDs, the swinging lifestyle became more attractive to people looking for that special something extra in their relationships. But swinging isn’t just another word for cheating. True swingers know that it involves commitment and consent from all parties involved. This is why first time swingers could find it hard to really know if the lifestyle is for them or not. But because curiosity is healthy and leads to progress, experimenting is always the way to go.
Swinging – a definition
There are many forms of social and sexual activities that involve multiple partners. Some of them can trace their origins back to biblical times and have stuck around, being assimilated into modern society. The basic idea of most non-monogamous relations is to explore and engage various sexual options and to fill a sense of fulfillment while doing so.
Swinging is a form of non-monogamy which means that members of a relationship, or single individuals, engage in sexual relations with each other. The group follows certain rules and members do not usually have any other form of engagement with each other. Of course, this is not a rule, but true swingers tend to have some form of organizing their encounters. Before gaining popularity, swingers would meet in certain bars or host swinging parties at their houses. Nowadays, besides the classical methods, people wanting to swing can use the internet to find special clubs near them, or even to download specially designed apps.
Although many people have tried swinging and gave it up for a number of reasons ranging from lack of time to relationship problems, true swingers swear by their lifestyle and many have said that their love-life has gotten better and their relationships stronger. Some even say that swinging is a kind of therapy or that it has a spiritual effect on them and their partner. The point is that swinging isn’t for just anybody. You have to be sure you, and your partner want this, and have a clear idea about how to do it.
How to know if you’re a swinger
First time swingers can have some problems when it comes to fully adopting this lifestyle. Some of them may find it complicated to separate feelings from sex while others might not know how to talk about it to their partners. There are a few things one should consider before setting up one’s profile on a swinging app.
1. Always be honest
Communicating and not having secrets from one another are the foundation of any strong relationship. Talking to your partner about wanting to swing is the best thing to do. Even if the final decision will be not to do so, you will at least have a much clearer image of the person next to you and they will know more about you.
2. Do your research
Swinging sounds, and is, fun. But not if you don’t really know what’s it about. To some it may sound like cheating but it extra steps, but it is more than that. When having doubts about what to do, the best thing to do is research. If you know a person or a couple that swing, go ask them and try to understand how their experience could help you. If you don’t personally know somebody go online and start reading. There are thousands of articles, interviews and testimonies from people who have adopted this lifestyle that can help you understand it.
3. Never be ashamed
Although swinging is sometimes frowned upon, you should never be ashamed to talk about it. The whole concept revolves around being open minded and wanting to try something new. First time swingers could find it difficult talking to older members of their group, but they have to remember that they are both in the same place for the same reason. Shyness and holding back have nothing to do with what you find among the swinging community.
These are just some of the boxes anyone wanting to join the swing scene should check before getting into anything. Confidence and a sense of adventure also come in handy when talking about swinging. Whatever you decide always remember that you should never do something you or your partner haven’t discussed and looked into and are not comfortable doing. Swinging is about being sharing, and you can’t share if you’re not entirely O.K. with the concept to begin with.
First time swingers could sometimes find it hard to know if they are true swingers.