There are times in our lives when we feel irrevocably tired of ourselves, and I think I have an explanation for this. Between all the toings and froings in life and the roles we play for our different cliques, there is too little time left to ponder which part of you is real. Admit it, none of us know who we are entirely. So, last year I made a decision that gave me a break from spiralling down through my tumultuous self. It was New Year’s Eve 2022 and I had just moved into Sydney. My work schedule was beyond me and I couldn’t help myself but take a break from the toxic environment that was nothing but harmful to my mental health. I decided to get away from the usual faces, which included my family, my friends and my colleagues. I booked a ticket aboard one of the Sydney NYE cruises, which are a famous vantage point to see the fireworks from a different perspective. It was remarkable indeed. With amazing food, a lot of booze, spectacular views, and not to mention, new faces, I knew I was at the right place at the moment. I met some wonderful people on board, all strangers. And here’s what I understood: that I didn’t have to assume a particular role or pressurise myself to be something I’m not when I’m around strangers. Rather I could be anyone I want to be or explore parts of myself with no strings attached to the reputed parts of my character. I guess I should add Sydney New Year’s Eve cruises to my favourites. They make me think.
The reason why I’m writing this article is because I know I ain’t alone in going through such a phase in life and I wish to share what I learned from it. Yesterday I jotted down a roster of things that were making me uncomfortable at work and it made a lot of sense to me when I realised I was triggering colossal self-destruction by taking everything personal. I could feel people leering at me for the way I dress, the way I talk and even whom I talked to. But could that define who I was in real life? Never! Like I mentioned before, If none of us understand ourselves so much, how can a different human being with a mind of their own make sense of our entire character, and let alone judge them for a particular role at work?
We shouldn’t let anyone steal our thunder, should we? In case you feel shorn of it, there are multiple ways to engage effectively with yourself such as writing. And that works wonders.
Here are some signs you might be bleeding it out instead of healing.
You can’t focus
Your relationships are suffering
You show symptoms of stress in your body too
You lack self-care
You run on empty
Spending time with yourself is as important as breathing, lest you get lost on the way. Life can get busy, confusing or even stagnant at times. However, taking a break from “yourself” can help indeed. By now, I hope you understand what I meant by ‘break from yourself’.
A life that is entangled in deadlines, obligations, responsibilities can sometimes be too much and a break is a way to rejuvenate. All these can perhaps even take a toll on your mental health. And if you can’t find a way out of your difficulties, that’s when you should know you’re stuck. A little help here wouldn’t hurt either.
Sending all goodness and healing your way. Talk to you soon folks!